The Key To Holiday Bliss Lies With The Mayans

Skip Christmas and party like a rock star instead!
Skip Christmas and party like a rock star instead!

To avoid sounding like a whiny baby, I just deleted hundreds of words, a litany of complaints about the holiday season and why it is (for me) the least wonderful time of the year. My distaste for this season stems from a complaint that from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day my workload doubles while my pay increases not at all. In addition to my regular duties (chauffeuring, cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, homework detail, etc.), I add holiday shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating, stuffing, mailing, coordinating, and distributing. I sat down today and took a good, long, hard look at my calendar for the next three weeks. Then, I researched a one-way flight to the Seychelles. Holidays at home with all the family or solo vacation in the Indian Ocean? Tough call.

I spent my day putting the finishing touches on some homemade gifts, which means I now have gifts for teachers, office staff, and neighbors completed. The Christmas cards have been ordered and are on their way. Tomorrow night we’re shopping for the family we adopted. Things are starting to come together. I could almost make out the faint sparkling of New Year’s Eve fireworks ahead, but then I remembered the greatest part of my busy season has not yet begun. Suddenly I was thinking again about a white sand beach in a warm ocean.

Tonight my husband requested that for his December birthday I gift him with a temporary cessation of my holiday apathy and my Grinch attitude. Because that’s way less expensive than what I was going to get him, I’m going to grant him his wish. I’ve strained my brain thinking about the best way to achieve it, and at long last the answer finally came to me. I need to disregard the holidays altogether. To that end, today I firmly committed myself to belief in the Mayan calendar. If the world is going to end on December 21st, then there really is no point in jumping through hoops for Christmas. And, since hubby’s birthday is the 20th, I figure we’ll focus on partying and let the rest go. Please excuse me if you don’t get our Christmas card or receive any cookies from us this year. The world is ending, and I’m busy living it up. The way I have it figured, the Mayans invented chocolate. Heaven knows they weren’t wrong about that. So, put aside all the stress of the holidays and join me in partying like it’s December 20th, 2012. On December 21st, if we’re still here, at least we’ll have enjoyed the holiday season.

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