I never intended to be a stay-at-home mom, but that is how things worked out. With my husband, I raised two loving, creative, and lively boys who struggled with dyslexia and ADHD. Somehow we successfully got them through the most difficult parts of their learning disabilities, through middle school and high school, and off to college. Then we entered a new phase of life with its own challenges: caregiving for parents, helping our sons navigate life on their own (well, mostly on their own), and trying to figure out who and what we are now that the game of life has shifted again. While I’m curious to find out who I am now that I am not full-time mom, I am also overwhelmed by how quickly this life has gone. How did I get to my mid-50s already?
A while back my friend, Rochelle, recommended The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to me. That book presented me with an alternate way to view my reality. I try harder these days to remember that all I have is now. I aspire to find my highest self. And while I nearly never glimpse my higher self when I’m stuck in traffic while running errands, the knowledge of its possible existence is never far away. Someday maybe I will embrace a wholehearted love for myself and my fellow people. Someday maybe I won’t care how wrinkled I am or notice how the dog-hair bunnies populate the surface of my wood floors. Someday maybe I will truly know peace. Maybe. Or maybe I’ll die trying. But, at least I will have tried and that’s something, right?
My name is Justine. These are my stories.