What’s The Exact Opposite Of Cats In The Cradle?

The loves of my life

I love travel. Although I love my home, if I can fly somewhere every 3 months I am over the moon. Most of the time, we take our boys with us when wanderlust strikes. Tomorrow, though, hubby and I are skipping town for a few days. Literally. A few days. A couple hours before bed tonight, our oldest comes into our room crying because he doesn’t want us to leave. His face is wet. His eyes are red. He’s been suffering in his room quietly until he could stand it no longer. This breaks my heart. It also tells me something. Hubby and I do not leave our sons often enough.

I know that he’s eleven and that in just a few short years he’ll be smiling as he slams the door behind us when we leave, so I should treasure his hysterical tears now. But, I can’t. They make me feel like we’re not doing enough to prepare him. I love my sons, but I do not want them living in my basement and delivering pizzas for a living. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just don’t want them doing it from my basement. They’re more than welcome to pursue that life path for themselves from a crummy, garden level apartment that they finance themselves. No judgments from me. Make no mistake about it, though, as much as I love my sons to infinity and beyond, I want them to leave me someday the way they are meant to. I want them to grow up and have their own adventures. They can miss me, but they’ll have to leave me to make that happen.

We gave Joe tons of hugs and told him that we trust him. We told him that we’ll miss him oodles and will FaceTime with him every day. We told him that he’s brave and strong and that he’s got this. We told him that parents need time together alone as a couple so they can stay married. We told him that his little brother would protect and care for him. I don’t think it made much of a difference, but he did finally fall asleep. I know that someday he will walk out our front door, his car all packed for college, and when he drives away I will cry just like he did tonight. I’m sure it will be my ugliest cry ever. But, there’s a part of me that will be so glad to take that burden of sadness away from him. I can handle it. I think.

 

3 comments

  1. Someone once told me raising a child is like tending a plant. You just keep the weeds away, water, fertilize, prune as necessary and let them grow. Well maybe that is over-simplified but I think you get the picture. 😉

    Ken

  2. Oh man can I relate to this. We rarely leave Kate for a few hours, let alone a trip. I feel you’re preparing your kids way better than we are! It breaks my heart sometimes to be strong when all I want to say is “I understand and I feel the same way” but it’s our job to do it. 😦 Tough job for no pay 😉

  3. OH man! Now I am crying thinking about Jax packing up and leaving for college! LOL! Waaahhhhh! I am, however, glad that we started very early on with Jackson leaving him with others so Rich and I could get away for some time. When he goes to either of his grandparents he is usually shoving us out the door! I do not think that Kaylynn is going to be like this. She is a Mama’s girl for sure! It’s so heartbreaking. It makes you feel so sad that they are sad and worried but it also makes you feel a tiny bit happy (you gotta be doing something right if they are gonna miss you that much knowing you will be back). 🙂

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