When my husband has the boys for the weekend without me, the three of them go do things and then eat out. This weekend, I’m here with our boys while hubby is skiing in Steamboat Springs with his college buddies. I thought maybe I could follow Steve’s trend and convince them to go do something and eat out with me. The three of us haven’t had much of a chance to do that since school let out, so I thought I would ask them. I was denied. Apparently, after our big weekend last weekend, they just wanted to stay in. So, that’s what we’ve done. My car hasn’t moved since 3 p.m. yesterday. Actually, I really haven’t moved since 3 p.m. yesterday.
I’m sure this is exactly what I need right now. Downtime. I spent back-to-back weekends in the mountains, away from home. A weekend without plans should sound like heaven to me at this point. For some reason, though, instead of feeling free and unencumbered, I feel as if I am under house arrest.
I wondered why it is that dad is allowed to have fun with them and when I want to do something fun with them they act like it’s such a hassle? So, I asked them why they refused to go out to eat with me last night. They told me it’s because they like it when I cook. They feel safe and peaceful here at home. They don’t feel like running around town. They’re comfortable.
As annoying as it is that their dad gets to do all the cool parental things with them while I’m relegated to the role of chef and caretaker, I suppose there is something positive in it too. The bottom line is that my boys feel cozy and happy when they’re here with me. They can be themselves. They are relaxed. I keep trying to remind myself that this is a good thing. In a couple years they will be too cool for school and too cool for me. So, I’m going to stop feeling trapped and try to count my blessings. And, I’m going to hope that I haven’t created such a wonderful home for them that they never want to leave it. I love my boys, and I’m infinitely glad that they like being home with me. But, if they think they’re staying here forever, they’re mistaken. Don’t tell them yet but I already have plans for their rooms the minute they leave for college, and I’m buying them luggage for high school graduation. 😉
I think you’re right about the fact that you want them to be happy at home but just uncomfortable enough that they will eventually move out. We have that mission around here. (you’ve got to the number of children!) Get ready to take care of yourself and what are your future plans anyway? We’re already having those talks with the boys — “What are you going to do when you grow up? Be a pet shop guy or Spiderman”, they answer. “Have you considered medicine or engineering?”, we reply. (since you need a good income to keep up with all your past times?) I have been denied too on the going out and eating out thing — my boys just want to be home. With Dave, they’d go out because its to the pet shop, geocaching, the Lego store or boy scouts. Home is much more fun when it comes to me.
I hadn’t thought of it that way, Ana, but you’re right. With me it’s the grocery store or other errands. Although I love to take them to the museum or the zoo or the movies. Maybe I just forgot to offer them the proper bait? 😉
Thanks for the insight. I had never thought about why dad times are fun times (from my perspective) but mom times seem mundane. Guess I’ll let go of the pity party and enjoy the mom times even more.
Yup. Tom is fun dad and I’m rule mom. Long ago I used to want to eat out but Kate was fussy. She LIKES my cooking and doesn’t like to eat out much. That’s HIGH praise!!