“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”  ~ Ovid

I did something today that I very rarely do. Exhausted after a late night of fun with my sister and her friends, and with all three of my boys gone to an orienteering class with the Cub Scouts, I stretched out on a sunny spot on the sofa and drifted off to sleep. It’s not in my nature to nap. Actually, it’s not in my nature to sit still. I honestly have to work at relaxing. I’m a busy person, and I like it that way. When I’m moving, I get things done and I burn calories. I accomplish things and clear them off my to-do list and that brings me some level of peace and comfort. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I forget sometimes, though, that as good as it is for a body to be active, it’s every bit as important for it to rest. Part of my plan for the New Year was to work on being still. So, today I allowed myself 20 minutes of stillness in the middle of an otherwise packed day. In between cleaning the kitchen and planting flowers, I…the catnap challenged…became catnap capable. I discovered that 20 minutes of inactivity are enough to bring my internal battery up from 50% charge to 95% charge.

I don’t foresee this becoming a regular habit for me because I do love to cross things off my to-do list and I have two overly active boys who need me, but it’s good to know that when I need a short respite my mind is willing to allow it if I take the time simply to be still for a few moments. Now, if I could just get my boys back to the days when they took afternoon naps, if I could remind them that they too are catnip capable, that would be life changing.

A little after 4 this morning, I heard the tell-tale click of the air pump on our Select Comfort bed shutting off. That usually means an interruption in the power. In our ten years in this house, our power has rarely gone out. Occasionally, it flickers off and then on again within a matter of seconds. So, I waited. A few seconds later I raised my sleepy head and opened one eye to glance at the alarm clock across the room for verification. Yep. No light in the room whatsoever. We were without power. I told hubby, set my iPhone for his 5:10 alarm and then my 6:45 alarm, and fell back asleep.

At 6:40 the kids burst into our room to announce the exciting news that we were without power, just in case I was unaware. I was not. I’d heard hubby fumbling around in pitch black getting ready for work at 5:30. I wondered briefly if he’d managed to walk out of here wearing clothes that matched, then told my children who were all a-twitter that it was no big deal. I shuffled them into the shower and made a mental note of all the things I would not be doing this morning…making my usual latte, listening to Phineas and Ferb on the television, drying my hair, using the garage door opener.

When we arrived downstairs, the house was cold. I had Luke flip on the gas fireplace. Ooooh….it’s like camping, they said. The joy wore off when Joe realized that his Eggo waffles would remain frozen this morning. I suggested cereal and told them I would make some hot chocolate. They looked at me like I was crazy. How could I use the stove when there was no power? I walked over, flipped on the gas, and lit the burner by hand. You would have thought I had invented fire. They were in the presence of pure genius. When I lifted the garage door, I might as well have been Hercules. I couldn’t decide if I was happy that my kids finally understood how much I am capable of or I was depressed that apparently under normal circumstances they barely think I’m capable of a thing.

I feel sorry for my kids. They’ve had it so easy for so long that they have no clue what they could live without if they had to. Based on their utter amazement that life was even possible without electronics this morning, I made a unilateral decision. This Friday night we’re unplugging for an entire evening. Starting at 5 p.m., there will be no television, computers, iPads, iPhones, lights, appliances, Nintendo games, iPods, nothing with an on/off switch for any of us. We’re going to spend the evening playing cards or games, reading books by candlelight, and just spending time together without distractions. I envision one of two things happening during this grand experiment: 1) someone will have to be restrained to control their gadget-withdrawal-trembling hands or 2) we will have bored each other to sleep by 8:30. I sure hope it’s the latter because I could really use a good night’s sleep.

After an extremely dry March, usually Denver’s snowiest month, wildfire season appears to be officially underway. The Lower North Fork Fire has burned 4500 acres so far. From my backyard last night, I have to admit that the smoke, fanned by strong winds from the southwest, looked ominous. I took photos of it and then sat back down to watch my recorded episode of Mad Men. We slept with the windows closed last night because of the heavy smoke, but this is not the first time we’ve had to do this so it was not unusual. We slept soundly.

This morning I was pleased to note that the winds were no longer blowing the smoke in our direction, which meant my boys who are home for spring break could go out and play with friends without smoke inhalation concerns. Around noon, we went for a 4-mile hike with friends up Waterton Canyon. We saw about 35 mountain sheep and had a picnic lunch. There was the faintest scent of smoke in the air, but nothing about which to be alarmed. Tonight when I finally had a moment to hop back on Facebook, I could not believe the amount of chatter about the fire. We live 5 miles outside the evacuation zone, but from the hefty number of posts our neighborhood Facebook page received today you would think that we were in immediate danger of Armageddon.

A resident who also happens to be a firefighter tried to quell the rampant concerns. Posts flew back and forth with links to maps of the fire evacuation area and sites where you can register your cell phone for reverse 911 emergency notification. Now, I’m all for safety and for being informed of potential danger. I will admit that hubby and I have twice now discussed what I am to throw in the car if we receive an evacuation notice. We have not, however, set anything aside for immediate packing. In fact, I’m fairly certain that if I took any precautions whatsoever that would be the surest way to guarantee that an evacuation notice would never be issued for our quaint suburban oasis. If I pack it, it will not come.

I’m befuddled by the drama and chaos that ensues in these type of situations. I don’t understand why people would choose to worry about this. If the fire decides to head this way, there will be nothing that worrying will be able to do to stop it. If we are asked to evacuate, there is nothing that worrying will do to spare our homes from the fire. Unless there is some sort of camaraderie and sense of community to be gained from it, I can’t understand what could possibly make this situation worth wasting precious moments of my present on. I’m not entirely sure what encourages people into Chicken Little’s “the sky is falling” mentality. My experience has been that worry is a waste of emotion.

I have deep sympathy for the people who have already lost homes, pets, and even family members because of this fast-moving, highly dangerous fire. I can’t imagine what the people in the fire’s path have already had to endure or how difficult it will be to pick up and rebuild after losing everything. Their suffering is real, and my fingers are crossed that the fire will be contained quickly. Still, I refuse to live in fear or to spend my day discussing other people’s misery. Rather than obsessing about what might happen, I’m going to turn off my laptop tomorrow and spend my boys’ spring break going to the movies and playing games with them. What might happen is not nearly as important as what will happen if I focus on the precious present moments I have with my boys this week.

Ever have one of those days when you are determined to be miserable? I had one today. Every single thing anyone said was an affront or insult or accusation. Nothing worked out the way I wanted. The universe was conspiring against me. I felt completely misunderstood, unappreciated, and thwarted. I even had a headache. Nothing could improve my day. That’s all there was too it.

As self-fulfilling prophecies go, I set up my bad day with my lousy attitude. I acted it out that way with my grumpy behavior. And, I poisoned everyone I came in contact with by sharing my foul mood. And, even though I knew I was my own worst enemy, I couldn’t seem to stop the train wreck that I was creating with my self-defeating thoughts. Sometimes it’s difficult to get my brain to cooperate with what my heart knows. My monkey mind was messing with me. My head was filled with chattering monkeys clamoring for attention and directing me away from what I know is important. Today the fear monkey was the loudest, but his idiot brother the self-doubt monkey chimed in too, creating a cacophony of dissonant noise that disquieted my soul and turned me into someone I am not. Oh, how I hate those bloody monkeys. I can’t believe I allowed those blathering, stinky beasts carte blanche in my head today. I let them win.

In a valiant attempt to silence the monkeys and alter my state of mind, I forced myself to go to yoga tonight even though I had concocted a million and one reasons not to go. I went because when I least want to go is the exact time that I most need to go. I was right, too. The minute I got on my mat, my blood pressure came down, my day melted away, and those monkeys finally shut up. By the time I got to my car after class was over, I was a new person.

I’m not happy with myself for paying attention to the primates in my brain today. If I’d been a little quicker with the self-realization I would have muffled them sooner and tossed them back into their cages where the belong. I would have done it before I’d spoken out of turn and been hurtful to people I truly care about. Just as I was bound and determined today to be miserable, though, I am determined to make tomorrow an infinitely better, healthier, more productive day for myself. No more negativity. Those poo-slinging primates will not live rent free in my brain tomorrow. They’re going to have to take their monkey business elsewhere.