Ever have one of those days when you are determined to be miserable? I had one today. Every single thing anyone said was an affront or insult or accusation. Nothing worked out the way I wanted. The universe was conspiring against me. I felt completely misunderstood, unappreciated, and thwarted. I even had a headache. Nothing could improve my day. That’s all there was too it.
As self-fulfilling prophecies go, I set up my bad day with my lousy attitude. I acted it out that way with my grumpy behavior. And, I poisoned everyone I came in contact with by sharing my foul mood. And, even though I knew I was my own worst enemy, I couldn’t seem to stop the train wreck that I was creating with my self-defeating thoughts. Sometimes it’s difficult to get my brain to cooperate with what my heart knows. My monkey mind was messing with me. My head was filled with chattering monkeys clamoring for attention and directing me away from what I know is important. Today the fear monkey was the loudest, but his idiot brother the self-doubt monkey chimed in too, creating a cacophony of dissonant noise that disquieted my soul and turned me into someone I am not. Oh, how I hate those bloody monkeys. I can’t believe I allowed those blathering, stinky beasts carte blanche in my head today. I let them win.
In a valiant attempt to silence the monkeys and alter my state of mind, I forced myself to go to yoga tonight even though I had concocted a million and one reasons not to go. I went because when I least want to go is the exact time that I most need to go. I was right, too. The minute I got on my mat, my blood pressure came down, my day melted away, and those monkeys finally shut up. By the time I got to my car after class was over, I was a new person.
I’m not happy with myself for paying attention to the primates in my brain today. If I’d been a little quicker with the self-realization I would have muffled them sooner and tossed them back into their cages where the belong. I would have done it before I’d spoken out of turn and been hurtful to people I truly care about. Just as I was bound and determined today to be miserable, though, I am determined to make tomorrow an infinitely better, healthier, more productive day for myself. No more negativity. Those poo-slinging primates will not live rent free in my brain tomorrow. They’re going to have to take their monkey business elsewhere.