Obfuscation and Lies

Sneaky co-conspirators enjoying YouTube

The boys were upstairs being quite giggly earlier today. I love it when they’re having fun and laughing together. We’re lucky that it happens quite often with our two little monkeys because they honestly like each other. When I hear them both carrying on, no matter how loudly, with their happy, non-stop chattering, I feel good.

Today, though, something different was going on. I could tell there was something somewhat secretive about whatever it was they were doing upstairs. Still, heartened by their laughter and the joy they were obviously sharing, I let them continue. At one point, though, my curiosity began to get the best of me and I started up the stairs. Hearing my footsteps, they got very quiet, which made me a bit suspicious.

“Mom?” Joe called.

“Yeah?” I replied from halfway up the stairs.

“Don’t come up here,” he called down.

“Ummm…why?” I queried, becoming even more suspicious. Then I heard Luke yell to Joe.

“Close the door, Joe. Quick.”

“Why do you have to close the door exactly?” I wondered aloud.

“Don’t come up here, Mom. We’re having a farting contest in Joe’s room. It’s gross in here.”

Ewwwwww. Seriously? That was all I had to hear. I started back downstairs. Boys are so disgusting. I went back to the kitchen to finish my lunch, trying not to think of the foulness being perpetrated upstairs.

After about 15 minutes, though, I noticed it was very quiet. This could only mean one of two things…either they were doing something they weren’t supposed to be or the noxious fumes from their farts had rendered them unconscious. I sneaked back upstairs and stood outside the door to Joe’s room. It was quiet except for the sound of their computer. I had asked them earlier to stay off the computer for a while because they’d spent part of the morning watching Lego videos. I carefully turned the doorknob and peeked inside the room. There they were…co-conspirators, huddled together sharing one chair and, sure enough, watching more Lego videos that they weren’t supposed to be watching. Oddly enough, the Lego characters were either speaking Polish or Czech, which just cracked me up.

“WHAT are you doing?” I said a little too loudly. They both jumped, surprised and chagrined to have been caught in the act.

“We’re watching Lego videos,” Luke admitted.

“What did I say about spending too much time on YouTube today?”

“Sorry, Mom,” Joe said.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “I thought you said  you were having farting contests up here.”

“We just said that to keep you out of here,” Joe explained, honest to a fault.

Nice. I wasn’t sure if I should yell at them or congratulate them for their clever ruse. It had worked. They got themselves an extra 15 minutes of clandestine YouTube time with that false statement. I told them to close Safari and get downstairs. They walked past me rather quickly, fearful I might swat them as they passed by.

Truth be told, I’m rather disappointed in myself for falling for a “farting contest” story. What was I thinking? My boys are gross, but they’re not really that gross, at least not yet. It was a bit naive of me to believe that line. I hope, however, that my boys understand that their obfuscations and lies will have to become more clever in the future because I now see the game they’re playing at. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well…I’m just not that stupid.

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